Journal of Post-Ralphaelite Thought

My friend and sometimes sparring partner the Whited Sepulchre alerted me to the fact that Broadway Baptist Church of Ft. Worth, where my heresies are tolerated, has been given the boot by the Southern Baptist Convention. The nominal reason was because we tolerated homosexuals in our midst. Well, la-dee-dah. There was great huffing and puffing from Louisville, Kentucky, the scene of the crime. "The church was in effect saying that it was OK to have members who are open homosexuals," said a member of the Executive Committee. Shocking. The truth is, the SBC has been pissed at us for quite a while. Broadway, if I may venture an opinion, stopped caring years ago. The only things keeping us in the convention at all were the desire to accommodate Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary faculty members who needed to be at a church in good standing (whoops) and the presence of a dwindling number of older members who nursed a sentimental attachment to what the SBC used to be befo...

I was out shopping for plants today with my wife and while wandering the aisles of Mike's Gardenland, chanced upon a couple of shelves of collectible figurines. You know - the sort of kitschy shit that fills yard sale tables as soon as the weather warms up. Adorable children, sad clowns, blonde Nordic-looking angels. Then I saw this: Jesus with a haircut. Gone is that old hippie look and all the peace and love shit that goes with it. Now he's got a nice razor cut with a shampoo and blow-dry thrown in for good measure. His beard got a trim, too -- not so scruffy. The look suggests he gave up on being a trouble-maker and decided to concentrate on the carpentry business -- maybe even expand into general contracting. I bet he'd be driving a pickup if he could. All he needs to do now is lose those sandals and get a pair of cowboy boots.