Friday, May 20, 2011

Thoughts on the upcoming Rapture

Well, tomorrow is my sister's birthday. It's also supposed to be the end of the world.

That being the case, I've decided to put off doing my timesheets until Monday. Just in case.

To be a bit more specific, tomorrow is Judgement Day (according to those in the know), a.k.a, the Rapture, when around 3 million of the Elect will be taken up to heaven, leaving the rest of us behind...just like in those "Left Behind" novels.

It's always struck me as a bit presumptuous to assume one is part of the Elect. I'm actually sort of looking forward to seeing someone with one of those "In Case of the Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned," bumper stickers driving around on the day after, so I can say, "Hey, asshole, what happened? Soul Train pull out of the station without you?"

Now, I'll be the first to admit I won't be on that first flight out. No doubt I'll be undergoing some torment of the damned, but at least I'll be rid of those 3 million smug obnoxious jerks now drinking non-alcoholic Mai-Tais in the clouds above.

This could work out well -- maybe the Democrats will be able to retake the House of Representatives. And we'll be able to have liquor stores open on Sunday

I'm beginning to like this rapture thing more and more.

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