Compliant
As one of the countless tiny cogs within the wheels of the American Economy, I find myself doing many useless things. Once I did mostly useful things, but as I continue to navigate the twisty little paths of the Corporate Life, I find myself engaged in more and more meta-work. Work about work.
Today, between participating in phone conferences and editing documents that no one in their right mind would read, I did compliance modules.
For those of you who have never enjoyed these, they are little web-based self-paced slide shows that are supposed to teach Right Thinking on various topics like: sexual harrassment, ethical behavior, and careful corporate communications (one of my personal favorites).
The worker bees (like me) flip through these and then take a 10 question quiz at the end. That way, when the worker bee goes and does some unthinkable thing, the Queen bee can throw up her hands and say: "I did everything I could. I gave them training."
So, the reality of it is that these are for CYA. Still, they are occasionally amusing in unintentional ways. The best from today:
"One day Fred was on the loading dock when he noticed the Divisional Vice President and a colleague out in the alley drinking beer and smoking a joint. Fred is afraid if he reports this to his supervisor he will be fired or put on the graveyard shift. What should he do in this difficult situation?"
My favorite incorrect response: "Report only the colleague, and not the Vice President, to his supervisor."
I showed this to one of my co-worker bees and he responded, "How do I get transferred to that Division?"
Indeed.
Today, between participating in phone conferences and editing documents that no one in their right mind would read, I did compliance modules.
For those of you who have never enjoyed these, they are little web-based self-paced slide shows that are supposed to teach Right Thinking on various topics like: sexual harrassment, ethical behavior, and careful corporate communications (one of my personal favorites).
The worker bees (like me) flip through these and then take a 10 question quiz at the end. That way, when the worker bee goes and does some unthinkable thing, the Queen bee can throw up her hands and say: "I did everything I could. I gave them training."
So, the reality of it is that these are for CYA. Still, they are occasionally amusing in unintentional ways. The best from today:
"One day Fred was on the loading dock when he noticed the Divisional Vice President and a colleague out in the alley drinking beer and smoking a joint. Fred is afraid if he reports this to his supervisor he will be fired or put on the graveyard shift. What should he do in this difficult situation?"
My favorite incorrect response: "Report only the colleague, and not the Vice President, to his supervisor."
I showed this to one of my co-worker bees and he responded, "How do I get transferred to that Division?"
Indeed.
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